If you’re reading this now, chances are good you’ve already read it on my Live Journal. But in the spirit of chronicling my religious experience, I copy this here. This is from this past Friday night. It’s interesting to note that these thigns usually come up when I’m sleeping, in dreams. This is only the first or secomd time that something like this has come up that I wasn’t asleep.

Well, the cold is gone. There’s the occasional little bit of cough, but that is going to be around for a while yet. Doesn’t really mean anything.

So I settled down in the temple room, and within a few minutes, had drifted elsewhere. I kept thinking about him asking me to come to him. I know it would mean a venture of sorts, but I didn’t think it would go quite this far…

I was in a place that looked like the Swiss Alps- at least as I remember them from when I traveled through Switzerland thirteen years ago. i don’t know what I was doing there, but I was there. I came upon a mountain that jutted up much higher than the others. It reminded me of the Materhorn, (I’ve no doubt that was the basic visual that my brain was using for building this place.)The mountain was completely covered in snow and ice, even much closer to the base, where all the surrounding mountains had a tree line, this one had none. I started to climb the mountain, though I was not equipped to do that. I was not dressed appropriately I was wearing ordinary sneakers. But I climbed, sometimes able to walk along a steep path, other times literally climbing over snow banks and ice formations. I was afraid of frostbite, and falling and sunburn and windburn. As I ascended, it got colder and the wind blew harder. The soles of my shoes wore through. My clothing became tattered.

Finally, near the top, I came upon a glittering temple of crystal and white marble. it seemed to be clinging to its perch so far above the world. This was not the temple of previous dreams, but like that temple so many times before, I was expected. The doors swung open at my approach. I was so cold by this point, I felt like ice water ran through my veins. I thought I should have died long ago of hypothermia.

The temple inside was as cold as it was outside. It seemed to glow from the light shining through its crystal walls. I walked a few steps in and nearly collapsed in exhaustion as the door slammed closed behind me, and then I felt a burning just above the base of my spine. It spread through me briefly, agonizing, like my nervous system had been lit on fire. After a moment, the burning receded so that it was confined to my spine, the rest of me remained reasonably warm after that, while my spine continued to burn.

And then He appeared., tall and golden, painfully beautiful. Previously, He was always tall, taller than most mortal men but not inhumanly tall. Here, He must have been ten feet, maybe more. His presence was overwhelming, more intense than anything I’ve ever known, I felt like He could crush me with barely a thought. And He was brilliant, blinding and more real than I had ever known before. He didn’t say a word. He didn’t need to. It was as if up here, so far above the world, everything was so much clearer.

He started walking towards the rear of the temple. I followed. There was an altar there, carved of white marble. It was bare- no cloth, no offerings. The light streaming in was brightest here. By this point, I knew why it was bare. I realized now that I was no longer wearing clothing, though I had never actually removed what had remained of what I had been wearing. Silently and slowly, He began to transform and soon I was facing an enormous wolf. He let out a low growl, circled around behind me and slashed at my back with His claws, down one side and a second time down the other. The pain was agonizing, I was bleeding. He circled back in front of me, transformed back into His familiar form, picked me up and placed me on the altar face-down. blood running down my sides stained the white marble. He disappeared for a moment and returned, I could see something glinting in His hands, but my vision was blurred from the pain and the light surrounding me. He came and stood beside the altar and leaned over me. I felt my skin being pierced, and then again. I realized that He was sewing the gashes in my back. The pain of the unanesthetized stitching melded with the pain of the gashes and my spine, still burning. The touch of His hands, usually a relief, afforded none this time. Then he started to sew another gash, and he was not just sewing. I felt a weight settle against my back, along the length of the gash, unfamiliar. He did the same for the final gash. When He finished, He picked me up and made me stand, blood dried all over me and the previously pristine altar. A mirror was placed in front of me and I could see what the foreign weight was- He had sewn swan’s wings to my shoulders.

Right now, for whatever reason, my back is a little hypersensitive, even more than usual. Gavin’s touching me, even just a little bit, feels like electrical shocks through my spine.

Before all this, I sat for a while, lighting some incense and a cypress candle. I didn’t follow it, but while I was doing this, I felt a strange compulsion to stick my finger in the candle flame, or to grab the burning end of the incense. It was odd.

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