I’ve been debating with myself for a while now as to just how much I want to post here. I created this blog for discussing my religion, including the more personal, not so conventional stuff.

I used to write everything on my Live Journal, right out there in the open…and then some things veered off in very unexpected directions, so I filtered things- lightly at first, just a few particular posts. Then last spring, I inadvertently got into some nasty Intarwebz Drah-mah(tm) and very quickly started locking down all but the more conventional stuff. The headaches ended pretty quickly for me, but my girlfriend ended up getting picked on pretty nastily for a while.

I created this blog quite a few months after that passed, intending to talk more openly about Teh Cray-Zee as it came up, even wrote up a little disclaimer informing the world that I do, in fact, see a Qualified Mental Health Professional (TM) on a regular basis, who is familiar with my religious beliefs, practices and experiences, and despite all this, he’s yet to tell me that I’m delusional or making it all up or just wanting to feel like Speshul Snowflake, so if anyone wants to make that call and feels that they’re more qualified than the therapist that I see, I’ll be happy to refer them to him.

Well, there are intentions for what to do when something happens…and then things actually happen. For the first time since I created this blog, I’ve had something that I consider big enough to call into question. Do I post it or don’t I?

And earlier tonight, I was talking to a friend about just this and the conflict that I felt between not wanting to deal with what some people might say, and actually wanting to write about this. Knowing that my particular understanding of Apollo is pretty uncommon and if for no other reason than that, feeling a certain obligation to write about it, and about my experiences, hoping to draw out others with similar views, and to make my own sense of it.

I’m going to write about it here. Hopefully I won’t feel the need to question it again. This is mine and this is about Him and for Him.